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Tag Archives: smiles
Two Swiss lawyers were sitting in a restaurant, talking shop. One of them called across to the waiter and asked: “Does anyone here have a copy of the Swiss Criminal code by any chance?” The owner immediately went up to … Continue reading
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” — G.B.S Immaturity
“Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.” — G.B. Shaw ( Maxims for Revolutionists)
A reporter asked a football trainer: “How can your team manage to win every match?” “I don’t understand it, either. What’s more, before every game I bet the referee five thousand pounds that we’ll lose.”
She: “Why do you want me to hold your earlobes when we kiss? He: “I once lost my wallet while kissing!”
A guest shouted at the waiter: “Do you call this strong coffee?” “Certainly, sir. You’ve only taken one sip and you’re already shouting!”
Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole! ~Oscar Wilde.
A drunk was trying to open a lamp-post with his latch-key. In passing, a policeman muttered: “It’s unlikely that there’ll be anyone at home.” “Of course, there is,” the drunk replied, there’s a light on upstairs.
” The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.” ~A Woman of No Importance.
A boxer’s wife is awakened in the middle of the night. She can just make out a burglar in the darkness. She prods her husband and whispers: “Wake up, Joe, someone wants a private training session!”